ViciousElleSunshine

is Vegas heat.

its not the worst kind because El Salvador’s heat is the kind

you feel your walking through a sauna in…you know the kind where everything seems moist and you feel like you’re sweating everything in you out of your body and you just want to lay on the ground possibly take all your clothes off and just scream ” GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!”.

funny part is…im going there next year…FML..

im heading back to LA on the ninth i will probably post some pictures up here of my visit. not that anyone cares but hey i decided i just want to share pieces of my life on here be it entertaining to others or not.

Plus thats what i got my cannon for…its my baby…his name is wolf….lmao

yes i named a camera. i name everything. my phones name is Aloha…and my ipod is named FTW because its just an awesome device!

-ellesunshine

I just finished reading the book “Crank” by Ellen Hopkins
let me just say it is insightful.
I have lost people to drugs, I have Lost people to alcohol, but i never understood why they made the decisions they did.
Although i know this story is not the story of the people I lost . its something.
it made me think a lot.
it made me feel priveliged to never have been involved in that sort of thing.
It made me hurt even more for the people I’ve lost.
I hope to never know what it means to literally hurt for a fix of something that only makes you sick.
I love my life and all of its imperfections even is there are moments that i wish i was someone else. even if there are times that i wish to be asleep for the rest of forever. I would Never want to lose myself enough to change even my identity to get a fix and a “Better” crowd.
I seriously hope that whatever higher power there is gives the people i lost a little strength to at least realize that they are in need of help.

I leave you with one of my favorite parts of “Crank”

Crank you see isn’t any ordinary monster.its like a giant octopus

weaving

its tentacles not just around you,
but through you,

squeezing

not hard enough to kill you,but enough
to keep you from

reeling

until you try to get away.
Try, and you hunger for its

grasping

clutch,the way its
tendrils prop you
up.your need

intensifying

exponentially
every minute you refuse
to admit its

being.

kristina/bree “Crank” Ellen hopkins pg 468-469